Thank You.
I thank you so much for your words and prayers. They have encouraged me. Yesterday, I went to a church in my area. It was welcoming, and I met great people. I did not feel a dark cloud above me. It felt like God was smiling down on me. I went home refreshed, alive, and energized…until the minister’s Son came to visit me and see how I was doing.
I didn’t share where I was that night. I didn’t feel like hearing his reasoning for why going to a church would be appeasing the Enemy rather than the Almighty.
Being in the assembly has forced my mind into their paradigm. A paradigm that attempts to bring “spiritual warfare” to a reality. They have me analyzing everything that happens to me, that is said to me. I am analyzing to see…Is the God or the enemy?
From my stand point, how could we humans even begin to have an understanding of the purpose of God’s work.
He is all knowing! He can see beyond the future! How could we possibly wrap our little minds around what God has planned?
Is it something we should even be concerned with? Aren’t we supposed to be like his children? Not questioning and just doing?
I would think so. But currently, and obviously, my question is, what do we trust as the guiding hand of God?
Is it prideful to take the Word of God, and set on our own special path with his word as our map? Do we NEED a teacher? Do we NEED someone to “take responsibility in helping me insure my eternal life?”
As far as I know. Yes. But that teacher is no longer in human form.
Jesus, Yehowahoshua, God’s Son (which ever set of letters you wish to call his name) was sent here to teach us, and took on the responsibility of insuring our eternal life.
From my memory, he spoke in parables to enable us to understand his teachings and apply it to our lives. Our lives which make up the Living Body of Christ.
I would like to find comfort, that I am a finger, my neighbor is an eye lash, you are an ear, and so-and-so is a vein. We all have different purposes in life. God created us with different personalities and dispositions, so that we are set on a specific course to complete a specific task.
I would like to find confidence in the fact that I believe that I am pulling away from my course as I subject myself to the assembly. However, their panic, and concern for my well-being scares me back in. Do they know something I don’t?
According to my spiritual counselor/minister “The opposer (the devil) doesn’t want me to stay with her, and he will do what ever he can to get me to believe that I shouldn’t. I need not ask for clarity from people of the world. I should ask those within the assembly.”
I have requested silence and space as I seek and attempt communication with God. They are gradually obliging to my request.
So, instead of going to Maryland I will stay here, and attend service at the church I found this week. Even though I am exploring, I still can’t help to think about what will happen to me if I choose not to follow my spiritual counselor, and stay within the assembly.
I have heard so many stories of people that have left or did not heed recommendations from the assembly. People have gotten shot, in a car accident, and have had to trod a tough road.
I just hope that I am stepping into clarity. Perhaps this is a chance to develop what I have always wanted. A chance to stand up for myself, and not just “flow” with the current.
A chance to develop confidence, and have a say, and stand behind my opinions,and speak my feelings.
I just hope I am stepping into the light of clarity provided by God, and not the deceiving light of Satan.
Dear Amalya,
I am so terribly sorry, I only yesterday found your mail from 02 07 in the spam-section without a valid emailaddress. Feel free to contact me again. I am there for you. The Lord is going to lead you on HIS ways, just trust and obey (him alone),yours , Ara
1arabella
March 6, 2008